dikkiies so random ..

you cant play on broken strings

2009-06-11T03:17:00.003+08:00

Let me hold you for the last time

It's the last chance to feel again

But you broke me, now I can't feel anything

When I love you and so untrue

I can't even convince myself

When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh, it tears me upI tried to hold on but it hurts too much

I tried to forgive but it's not enough

To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings

You can't feel anything

That your heart don't want to feel

I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse

How can I give anymore

When I love you a little less than before?

you cant play on broken strings . . .

sometimes , the thruth just hurts .
till the extend whereby you just cant accept the thruth .

read and shhhh !!

2009-06-10T03:05:00.007+08:00

dont you know that you are going overboard ? theres a limit in everything that you do . yes , i know that you care for me . but , you have breach the limit . you've gone way too far already . you made up stories and because of that , i got a scolding and certain restrictions were made . you really pissed me off . i know the limits between me and her , ever heard of the saying , once bitten twice shy ? . sheesh . eveything that is being written down here is just my own pea's worth of opinion and i dont need your validation to live for the record . treat whatever that you are reading here is like how you read a journal . read it and keep it to yourself , not happy ? confront me . one to one not via the net . you comprehend me ? . whatever that is said only matters when you accept it the way you think it should be . if you think positively , the positives are the ones that you get , if you think negatively , its just the opposite of how the positives are . if someone says that you are stupid , how would you react ?

1)the positive mindset says , you may think that im stupid , but i know myself more than you know me . im not stupid im just as bright as you think you are , prolly even better , its just a matter of time and commitment of me and the books . lets see who is the one who is going to get more aces in times to come aye ?

2)the negative mindset says , your words are so hurtful like those haymaker given by muhammad ali , i give up . im stupid . you are right .

you are given a choice , make the choice . remember this , every choices have the consequences .

that beautifully crafted smile on you face

is what i picture in my ceiling every night

before i enter the land of dreams .

i have never seen a smile like yours ,

never i say is because your smile

would sparkle my eyes just like how

those cartoon entertainment do .

your eyes is what make yourself the unique one

and those are the eyes that usually caught me staring at it.

and the reasons that i gave is the same as before ,

"nak korek matanya boleh"

you would laugh and i would give a sigh to myself . you would probably ask me why ,

why is because i dont want you to think of me like a freak who would be distracted in anything that he does and all he do is , stare at those

unique eyes .

as cheeky as it may sound , it is just what i feel and the actual thruth to it .

has the love that is being given with the wonderful colours to the promise i made drifted away in the open sea ?

do you really know what you mean to me ?

i'll do anything girl just to see you smile .

being by your side isn't sufficient enough to comfort you from all

the problems that you are facing ,

having to face it together with you and lighten the burden that you are carrying is better for you i guess .

now it just you and him ,

someone more special than i am .

would the day where i am turn into somebody special to you comes ?

could i be the person that you would look up to share certain problems ?

the person that would lend you a shoulder to cry on ?

the person where you would give you a hug when you needed one ?

the person to keep you warm and share wonderful stories with you by my side ?

the person that would be the doctor when you are sick ?

the person that you would show your true colours and let me understand you more than i do now ?

cause you claim that theres a side of you that i dont know yet .

would you let me have a part of heart and share it with mine ? and together our hearts beat as one ?

i miss you woman . i had been doing some soul searching , and i ask myself this , would she be there for me when i need her ?

2009-06-03T17:42:00.003+08:00

fuck you la little son of a gun ! stop being so amateur can ?

you dare to say all this behind my back , i wanna see whether you got the guts to say it in front of me . lets start from A , end at Z . blady tooooot ! .

this kind of people also exist in this world is it ?

its ok , im just taking it as parts and parcels of life hat i have to go through .

COBAAN!

super angry at first . but then when i gave some mature thoughts into it , i began to feel , there is no point to be angry about . WORDS ARE JUST WORDS . anyhoos , you know who you are , kau da besar , konek da berbulu , da bleh fikir kan ? so please la eh , fikir baik baik dulu .

da bagi kau muke , nak naek kepale ? .

plastic sundal !

2009-06-01T19:35:00.004+08:00

to begin with , i had fun in bot sat and sun . sat plans were to go silat as usual but then my gundu parents fall for my trick . i said i was having a major bad headache , and THEY BELIEVED ! so i was excused . after silat , we went to sempang bedok to eat . ate the upeh noodles over there . NICE . laugh and laugh because of my dad's jokes . we disturb the waiter until to the extend where she couldnt tolerate us . whenever our table members calls out for asistance she would scarce off anywhere further us . ok , sunday i went to jemputan , met all my cousins there . not each and everyone off them . but mostly lah . so the kecoh sia my dad and my pakcik . you guys know the construction cones in orange? they use that as a loud haler and make an annoucement that the bride and groom are on their way(in malay) . everybody laugh . and for the first time i saw money being scattered on the floor as the bride and groom make their way to the "pelamin" . then there i was doing my performance of silat as a show of respect to their presence . then theres this group of mat motor also , they shouted their poem that goes like ,

dudok di jalan besar tengkorak mata merah ,
eh ah eh ah ,
PHANTOM KIA ! .

like wow ! not only that , theres also kude kepang too(a javanese culture) and another group of motors which is the harley davidson clan . it was one of my pakcik groups . and then i spent the rest of my days there . had fun though .

ive been thinking bout you lately
i guess i miss you
its been quite a while since i last saw you
no more calls or mesagges from you
no more lame jokes of yours that i wouold laugh for you
no more special handshake
no more crazy moments
no more fights
no more you
and no more me
its just you and him
all that i can do is to wish you the best and may you have your happiness with him
im always here for you women .

people of RAW ,
im really sorry for my disapearance . there are reasons to it that i dont want to blabber here . easy to say , i couldnt bring myself there . i miss you guys man . maybe one fine day ishall pop by ok . take care guys stay cool and hot .

specially for eena , stay gorgeous as ever k ? lol .

jumping to conclusions causes mischief to happen .

2009-05-19T01:36:00.003+08:00

at times we think life is unfair ,

at times we think life is wonderful .

despite the love and care ,

we know that it can never be full .

why is how im gonna start .

why must we end up like this .

this wasnt the outcome that i expected . you may say that i brought it upon myself . but then , have you ever spare a thought for me and ask me for the real facts instead of hearing what others say ? . you are dissapointed in me , and so am i in you . i never thought that you would thinkof me like that . little did i expect that you would rush into things and jump to conclusions . others may say all sorts of things bout me , you have the choice to believe or to find out the real thruth . you chose the 'believe' choice . why wont you run the extra mile and find out the thruth for yourself ? i lied to you once and its the biggest mistake i have ever done to you . what makes you think that im gonna lie again . you ask me for the thruth and i gave you the thruth . the next thing i know , you silence yourself . i wasnt done there . theres more to it that you should hear . i really felt the pinch upon reading your post . it make me felt adhesive im playing you . the relationship between me and them are just friends . nothing more . you may say that im a flirt , but would i flirt around with others when i know that im lovin someone on the other hand ? people picture me as a flirt , but is it my fault that they tend to turn to me when they need help ? not only them , its everyone . you people know who you are . you guys only turn to me when you need help cause you know that i would help to find the solution to your problems . why dont you guys call me gay then ? there are guys who turn to me for help . sheesh . please get the fact rights before you comment on others . i really want to talk to you women .

thanks eh kawan kawan .

2009-05-14T16:51:00.003+08:00

halo halo ! just had my final paper just now which was history and art . but ! i didnt go for my art . well who cares . i dont give a shit as long as it doesnt affect my Ns . i was so unprepared for all of my papers . im still in a daze and not wanting to study for now . i'll have to get rid of that attitude and buck up after these june holidays . oh well holidays are coming up huh ? lets party people . thought of booking a chalet and have fun with all my mates but then , rase rase mcm tak jadi jek . its ok i hope this upcoming birthday of my friend will be a hell of a time . the plan is to go sentosa but the weather lately is like so suck ! . urghhh . guys , better come up with some plans ok .

i dont understand you nowadays .
you're giving me the cold shoulder and make it look like im in a wrong or something .
when asked , you say jangan nak step baik uh .
when i ask , you say that , when i never ask u make it sound adhesive i dont care .
if i dont care , i wouldnt even be bothered to ask you .
i seriously dont understand .
it really bugged me until to the extend of me being afraid to speak to you .
yo are really very 'fragile' nowadays .
i really want to have a talk with you and just you to get things straighten between us . i dont want to be treated like shit when im treating that someone like gold .
how am i suppose to please you ?
should i try harder ?
the answer is still left with question marks that randomise myself .
at times when we are happy , i just feel like , how i wish there is no ending to this happiness .
i know its impossible , what im stating here is just something out of my discontent .
it really sucks when you ignore me and give those 'empty' faces .
thanks .

2009-05-13T19:58:00.002+08:00

SPAMMERS ARE JUST LOW LIFE INSOLENT LITTLE FAGS !

urgggghhhhhh !!!! why do people spam each others blog ? nothing better to do is it ? kalau takde keje , pegi habiskan beras pat rumah kau lah . bodoh nak mampos .
sigh . super irritated with all this spammers . going from one blog to another and spam them . so the shitty shit thingy to do . eh to the spammers that spam me before , kalau kau berani ,kau letak name kau uh sial . aku takde mase nak layan prangai kau yang mcm kanak kanak strawberry nie uh . kau cakap ape ? kau da penah drop kan aku ? eh sial uh , ni bukan nak cakap besar uh tapi its just the fact , takde org pernah jatuhkan aku la sial ! . kau berani cakap besar pat sini , meh sini jumpe , kite tengok sape yang berani .

you made me lay to much hopes on you ,
and in the end i got hurt by doing so .
sometimes things would not work out like how you want it to be .
all that you can do is just , DEAL WITH IT .

walking the isle of darkness all alone once more .

thanks.

super duper mad with that someone .

2009-05-10T01:03:00.002+08:00

living this life is unpredictable , obstacles adding to my way of hapinnes keeps adding on and on . what have i done wrong ? is it wrong of me to mingle around ? i have my limits and i know my limits . im not the type that you think i am . what im potraying here is that , you gotta have the facts to be right before you comment on others . super pissed of with you son of a gun . blow your head and ooz your blood right out of your skull . damm . give you chances , and you breach the wire again . words wouldnt help to people of this kind . let you off several times already and you still hadnt learn your lesson . doesnt mean i neglect your attitude and let you off easily , im afraid of you douchebag . its because i SYMPATHISE you . SYMPATHISE you . im not that childish nor im not that mature , my mindset is sufficient enough to think of the right choice , unlike you who do things without any thoughts given to it . if you wanna be foolish and rush into matters , you re welcome boy , you know what im capable of and what sort of person i am .

2009-04-04T22:36:00.002+08:00

im stuck.

im broke.

im hungry.

im feeling restless.

im bored.

im tired.

im confused.

im ill.

people , come come entertain me :(

im stuck-because after i came back from jogging , i bath and went lalaland . when i woke up , i realise the house is empty . so sad . wanted to go out but my gate is locked and i dont have the key . damm .

im broke-because i got no money la ! walau ! so suck ! .

im hungry-because my mom didnt cook and i lazy to whip a meal for myself . im pigging now .

im feeling restless-mainly because im stuck , im broke and im feeling hungry .

im bored-because i got nothin to do so i blog .

im tired-because i clean my room and i train my martial arts and went jogging . from chua chu kang , all the way till gombak then , U-TURN ! .

im confused-because i dont whether should i try harder or just give up .

im ill-because im down with a fever now . maybe because i exert too much energy today :(

its a saturday and i didn't go anywhere . damm .

actually i got plans already but , due to some personal issues , it restrain me from enjoying myself .

today morning was a hell of a wake up call for me . one more time you do that to mama , im so gonna beat the hell out of you . lay a finger on her , pay the price boy .

im crying for help now . my art ! its stressing the shit out of me . frankly , i so the lazy to do already . i just feel like casting the complete spell on my art piece so it can be over and done with . haha ! dream on hady ! . im miles away from completion . someone come over and help me do my art can ?

i would be grateful to anyone that is willing to .

fat hope la hady !

don't pig around , go and be hardworking .

IF only that special someone is right here by my side to give me support and some motivation , CONFIRM ! i would be working my way to success ! . be there for me girl ?

laughter.

IF ONLY WHAT .

sigh.

you're the apple of my eye,

just like mcdonald's apple pie .

still loving you ,

2009-04-03T09:03:00.002+08:00

hey guys . erm , its like no school for me like , AGAIN ! . firstly , i woke up late . i hate to rush especially in the morning . and there i was , walking the busy streets of chua chu kang . just like any other ordinary school boy nothing special . but ! there is a difference between me and the other school boys , i smoke my way to school . haha ! . theres nothing to gloat about hady . just when i thought i was lucky , i was so happy that i wasnt late cause the guy that walked infront of me manage to get into the school . but ! when its my turn to walk in to the school , the gates were shut . and i was like , can i go in already ? . the response was , i am late and im gonna be suspended . rude much ! . im so pissed ! . i said why isnt the boy who walked infront of me late as well ? . the response was , he manage to get into the school in time . and i was like , what about me ? the response was , you are a second late . second late . second late . his words kept echoing in me . i was so pissed off with my discipline master aka lembage hitam or whatsoever his nameS are . i walked off and vented my anger on food . haha . i spent 7 bucks at mac just now . my stomach is like super big right now .

the talk that we had was so unexpected . whats done cant be undone . so ya. you said you dont like him , do you love him instead ? . i became the hot topic because of you . thanks eh . whatever to that friday , if you guys think im attitude , im not . im just being me . you guys call me your friend ? , then accept my flaws and for who i am .

no guys can bring you down ? im bringing you down so low till its even lower than the floor girl ! . sheesh . how i wish i know whats on your mind . so i know whats really happening . you can see that you are making me crazy now . see ! my words are jumbled ! damm . whats wrong with me . im feeling so lousy these days . why ? . haiz .

yesterday was indeed a hell out of a time . met up with some friends and slacked , laughed , ate and went home . sekali pandang mcm beyonce , due kali pandang mcm onceh onceh ! hahaha . kalau rase pening pening kepale , balek makan mak kau peh kuih ! haha ! adam gedumbak is hilarious .

i guess thats about it .

2009-03-25T21:14:00.003+08:00

thruth hurts .

you want war boy ? i give you war boy !

just return home at around 8 plus . when to slack sfter schoolie .

im so like on the verge of failing my studies as i tend to laze around in class .

come on hady buck up already .

exam dates are drawing nearer by the day .

i tend to get lazier by the day . so ya .

BUT ! my classmates and have this ' promise ' that we would start studying and concentrate more in class starting from next week onwards .

i dont know if thats gonna happen uh not .

hope so .

pay now , play later .

thats adam khoo phrase during the motivational talk i had .

(eyes rolling)

my art is far away from completion .

IM SUPER LAZY !

I PIG AROUND ALL DAY !

damm .

sometime i tend to forget myself and be someone whom im not .

arsehole ! do i know you ?

hah ! .

hey you blady faggot ! can you please stop being such a pervetic asshole ?

i feel like punching your face real hard you know .

and whats your motive by looking at me after every move that you do ?

idiot . respect other people dignity ass ! its like infront of our friends and you are doing so .

i know she is annoyed and irritated for the momment , so please stop it . although it was just an attempt , the intention is there .

how do you feel when i physically harass your mum on sexuality ?

you are such a douchebag ! .

you may find it as a joke but joking has its limits ok .

urgh ! . .

just now we played the game pig ! using poker cards . had loads of fun .

i owe my friends 6 forfeits .

damm . but i paid them 3 forfeits already .

1.i kissed a boy and i liked it !

2.lick the railing.eeew .

3.roll down a little slope when everyone is lookin .

4 .?????

5.?????

6.?????

hmmmm...

well thats about it .

it hurts when you ..... him .

it hurts when you pretend that i wasnt there .

it hurts when you be so secretive bout something .

......

you brighten up the darkness in me ,

and so i thought you were the one .

but i realise it doesnt turn out to be as bright as i thought it should be .

and there you go , walking your way to happiness and leaving me back in darkness .

please ,

i ve walk the isle once in darkness ,

dont make me walk another .

i will wipe those tears from rolling down your cheeks ,

i will be your unbrella when its raining ,

i will catch you when you fall ,

i will always be there for you when you need me .

i will always be right here waitin for you .

im willing to sacrifice the possible for you .

all im asking for is one chance to prove my love towards you women .

2009-03-24T12:22:00.002+08:00

today is a no school day for me . i woke up late and have other personal reasons . so ya .
woke up at around 9 cause someone text me . thought want to eat cause im super super hungry but then , THERE IS NO FOOD ! . damm . ive got plans to attend too but then that someone is making me worried sick . how would you feel if you receive a text that says my head is spinning preety badly and for the next few hours , there is no reply from that person .

anyhoos , im super super hungry right now and im broke . so sad .
if theres anyone out there who is kind enough to bring food to me , i will be so happy .
so please bring me food ARSEHOLES ! .

thank you :)

2009-03-23T22:53:00.003+08:00

kindness can cause mischief to happen ,
be too kind and you ending up being the one suffering .
do you believe this ?

so where should i start ?
ok the last weekend .
last weekend i went to batam .
end of story .
just kidding !
i went to batam to some silat thingy over there .
holidays are so not a holiday to me as i have to come back to school everyday .

i fall sick a week ago and it SO SUCK !
i hate to fall sick .
urgh !

yesterday i was feeling so restless .
i look to every corner of my house and i get annoyed . i dont know why .
so i went out for a jog .
jog jog and jog the next thing i knew i was in jurong .
damm .
so i make a u turn and went back home .
so the fucking shit .

ok im being lazy here .
im typing crap .
im having migrane now .
i wanna hit someone so hard on the face till their parents dont recognise em .
im hungry .
I WANT CHICKEN !
got it .

ok and here goes nothin .
school starts .
went to school , slacked and go home .
a routine for every school days .
someone crave for something .
got her the stuff but she couldnt meet up with me .
so sad .
thought that it would be a surprise , its surprising indeed !
thank you .

i wrote this for my preetiest friend ,
while im trying not to prove that i care,
im trying NOT TO MAKE ALL MY MOVES IN ONE MOTION AND SCARE HER AWAY ,
she can see shes making making me crazy now ,
idont believe she knows shes amazing how ,
she have me holding my breathe ,
so i never guess that im such unsuitable , suitable for her ,

and if you ask me ,
the feeling that im feeling is complimentary,
it goes to show ,
the moral of the story is boy loves girl and so on , the way it unfolds is yet to be told .

i love you i guess .

2009-03-07T21:35:00.002+08:00

like heyguys .

i know i have not been updating .
so ya .
and erm , alot of things happened lately .
like so much .
just got home from towny.
had alot of fun .
took pics which got me wet .
i mean wet wet .
as in not dry but wet .
because , i took the pic at a fountain when suddenly , the waters shoot out .
funny .
got lost while finding some shop .
my legs are killing me ! .
got the things that i wanted and headed down to bugis .
bought some stuffs and then went back home with someone .
so ya .

feelings growing and getting me confused .
should i , or should i not .
thats just my concience speaking .
my dreams are weird lately .
like why am i dreaming of her repeatedly .
is there a meaning to it? .
im just happy when im with you i dont know why .
sigh .
i know you are expecting someone to be back .
and you are overjoyed when you hear about him .
should i be happy for you too ? .
i just dont know how to react when it comes to certain situations .
i just feel like hugging you and never to let you go .
but then , its a wrong thing for me to do .
i guess .
why must i feel this way ? .
should i be falling in love with you ? or not ? .
im just confused .
women , i know i have been acting weird lately .
its just that every move i make towards you , these words keep playing through my mind ' am i doing the right thing ? , what if it make her feel awkward ? should i not do this ? ' .
it goes on and on .
i care for you , but i didnt realise that i was caring too much .
im sorry if i make you feel awkward .
i hope things would be fine between me and you .

confused.

2009-01-26T02:53:00.003+08:00

yipikayeah ! earthlings !

well im gonna share a little bit bout how i live my life lately ,
it goes like . . .
BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY !

well thats about it .

im not gonna update or do any changes bout my blog for the mean time .
when i got time , i update ok ?

by the way ,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR !

erm , im speechless actually .
but i ve got lots of things to say actually .
OMG ! that sounds so random !
well thats me .

sighs .

i think im hungry cause my stomachs singing some melody ready . .
must get something to munch on pronto !

ok then TAHA !

dikkiies .

2009-01-18T23:53:00.003+08:00

hey hey hey !
sorry for not updating the blog for so long .
well , ive been busy lately .
been busy with school , silat(malay martioal arts) , family and all .
lately , my mom was admitted to the hospital as she was suffering from bad illness which is dengue .
unexpected but thats just the fact of life .
thank god that she is better now . and yeah , not to forget , NEW YEAR ! . i went to east coast with family and friends .
Had fun with them and i laugh my ass off with them .
great times .
:)

the past sunday , i went to the spore expo for my perfomance(silat) . had fun and all . :)
well theres more of my experience since the last i updated the blog .
share with you earthlings the next time i update ok ?
till then ,

dikkiies:)

2008-12-30T13:33:00.004+08:00

HELLO FELLOW BLOGGERS !
i just arise from my hibernation process :)
freaking hungry again..urgh ! why must i always be hungry after i wake up from my sleep?
DAMM IT ! *searchin for food later*
hehe:)

Okae , heres
A little something that i wanna share :)
yesterday , i mean just now morning when darren texted me .*refer to the post before*

Ya the thing is that ,
Darren waited for me and Faizal to come down and slacked with him . Unfortunately , *i didnt meant to make you wait but i dont know whether Faizal did it on purpose or not uh*HAHA !

BOTH OF US DIDNT CAME DOWN AT ALL ! .

Darren , please accept my sincere apology .*so gay sia ! * :)

hey , what im tryin to get to you guys is that ,
NEVER MAKE OTHERS WAIT FOR YOU ! .

:)

For those who knew me well , i know whats the sentence that has been playing through your mind .

HADY MACAM PAHAM ! in english ,

HADY LIKE REAL LIKE THAT !

PS:im speakin for the fun sake of laughter and joy .
Like i said this is my blog , my own pea's worth of opinion . My thought , My say .
the actual fact is that im no goodie boy to apologize to Darren .*he got PHD with me thats why*

Perasan Hasad Dengki=hatred

:)dikkiies

2008-12-30T01:51:00.000+08:00

HELLO ! ALLMIGHTY EARTHLINGS !
I just woke up from my hibernation process . Thanks to a fag named DARREN . He texted me just to say LEPAK? . Sigh . Freaking hungry right now :) *stomach growling* .
And guess what people , you people know jason mraz ? me and him , DOESNT HAVE THE RELATION AT ALL ! WAKAKAKAKAKA !! . Okae , thats lame :)

Hmmm.....
i guess i shall get my ass bathing and meet the other fags already .

dikkiies:)

2008-12-29T10:59:00.001+08:00

DUDES !
ITS MY OWN PERSONALISE BLOG !

D$O TAG AND LEAVE COMMENTS OB HOW TO IMPROVE THIS BLOG .

WELL ACTUALLY THIS IS RANDOM :) .

TILL THEN ,
DIKKIIES .